I had another tough time falling asleep last night. We were at the hospital late, and then dad kept obsessing about getting all his MileagePlus points and money back for my brother’s missed flight. I asked Johnny to call and take care of it, but surprise, surprise, he said and did nothing. No, I don’t expect an immediate turnaround from the other side of the world, but I do expect some reply with an ETA. Whatever, he’s a fucking flake. So after a full day, I still had to get on the damn phone with customer service to process the return. Done.
Then I was up late chatting with my bud N about all the shit that had gone wrong on this trip. Seriously, aside from my grandfather being in stable condition (for which we are very grateful), this trip was just chock full of shit going wrong: there was the toupee/tarmac debacle on the flight out, followed by getting one of the shittiest POS rental cars ever (Avis, Never again!!), followed by a day of heavy snow, followed by my busticated zipper for my boots, followed by my hair getting stuck inside the hairdryer, followed by room accommodations at the “refugee camp” aka my grandmother’s pigsty/hoarder’s house, followed by a major meltdown with my mother, followed by losing my phone charger and all my devices running out of juice, followed by dropping my grandmother and mother at the hospital entrance (while I parked the car) only to LOSE them, followed by news today that Martin had a seizure. Yes, when it rains it pours, but fuck man, this is a goddamn monsoon!!
So my mother pissed me off big time today. I was researching acute rehab facilities (where my grandpa will go after he gets out of the hospital), and I started telling her that 1) grandpa should never drive again 2) he and grandma need to move out of their cluttered, dingy house. Mom just kept telling me not to worry about it. That they are fine living there. If they aren’t ok, what are regular folks without resources supposed to do? Uh, those regular folks are literate in English. Or she said that they could just live with her and dad. Um, first off, my mother is so weak, she can’t even lift a bag of groceries. Puhlease. So I tell her the grandparents need a place where people are around to help them with the day to day. She basically said I was overreacting, and that I should work on my patience and stop being so cranky. Oh no, you didn’t!!! Are you fucking kidding me? Wow. If it weren’t for me and my impatience, you’d still be stuck in Taiwan. You would not even have a clue about anything that is medically going on with grandpa. Maybe if you could pay attention long enough to focus and listen, you could take on more responsibilities, and Dad and I wouldn’t have to run all over the damn place, doing all this shit that YOU clearly cannot handle. OMFG, I was LIVID. Walked out of that hospital room in a near-blind rage. Interestingly, WTF has her little emperor accomplished all this time in all these years??? Not a damn thing. Doesn’t know how to book flights. Doesn’t even know how to pay bills on time. Doesn’t have to do a single thing while all these details get dumped on me to work out.
The thing about my mother. She has always been a rather confused person. Whether you explain in her native tongue or in English, shit has to get repeated over and over again. For one thing, she doesn’t listen. She just concentrates on what SHE wants to say next. You totally know people like that. Second, she is fucking co-dependent as hell, and that has certainly made her even slower. I dunno. Maybe I am getting bent out of shape over nothing. Maybe there is something medically wrong with her brain.
These last several days, I have been clocking in very long hours at the hospital. The good news is that the nurses check on him often, but I still want to be there to translate. Anyhow, after a full day at the hospital on Friday, especially with Gramps getting aggitated (sundown syndrome) and needing me to restrain him, yeah I processed the stupid flight credit; then, afterwards, I had to explain the situation to mom like six times: I got your ticket and dad’s ticket using points from your frequent flyer account. I got Johnny’s ticket using points from dad’s account bc yours didn’t have enough. In Dad’s account, I bought additional points bc he didn’t have enough to cover the full roundtrip. United does NOT refund any monies spent to buy points, but you get all the points you purchased credited back to your account for the unused flight. In other words, the ticket was 115k points (some portion of which we had to purchase). We will get all 115k point re-credited to the account, available for use in the future. She was confused about every single aspect: her points, her account, the cash, the award points, purchased points, the number of points used, blah, blah, blah. Round and round and round. She fucking exhausts me.
And the thing is, because of her many years of co-dependence, she can’t do ANYTHING on her own. Can’t drive. Doesn’t handle any finances or bills. Doesn’t know how to research anything online. She CAN cook and clean and handle medication orders for my grandparents. Beyond that, all bets are off. And of course, she blames Dad for her not knowing these things. That’s the thing with my family. There is always SOMEone to blame. That’s how shit gets explained.
When I was growing up, I remember we had to shift around the family room and living room furniture a gabillion times, bc she didn’t like this or that. Did she ever lift a finger to move the furniture herself or with us? Nope. She just directed us, and if we were sick of schlepping the furniture, she just would harass us until we gave in. So amidst all this bullshit going on with my grandfather this week, my mother is additionally obsessing over some granite dining room table, custom-made for their condo in Taiwan. They spilled food and water on it, and the surface stained. They have talked to the contractor and gone back and forth a few times. Supposedly, the contractor sealed it, but stains are still there, so what does she do? She keeps asking ME to research the answer. This started months ago. Meanwhile, my dad’s sister used to have a construction company. I mean, if the makers can’t solve the problem, what the fuck am I supposed to do? So this trip, she started asking me to research this again. And she isn’t even clear about the material. First, it was marble. Now she says it’s granite. My father suggested just putting a clear plastic topper, but mom insists that that defeats the whole purpose of having the nice table with its texture. I get it, she wants things done right but Jesus Christ. find the solution on your own!! Maybe see if there is a Home Depot-like store and ask people there. Is this really something I should be spending my time researching? Meanwhile, WTF is Johnny doing?? He knows English AND Chinese. And he LIVES in the same country where they have the table. Put him on this shit. She just annoys the hell out of me with these lame, low priority issues. Honestly, if she weren’t my mother, I really would not be dealing with her.